Sunday, December 31, 2006 @ 12:30 PM

the fact is that..
i'am still missing him..

wadeva issit..hmmz..
alrytees..
shall update..=)

hmmz.will nt elaborate..
that night..
everything happen..
its overz.and yeppz.
i coulnt do anything..
yesh..i do still lurve hym..
and its so diff to let everything go0..
slip at 5 in the morns..

slept fer 3 hrs..
woke up at bout 8..damnz.
culdnt open ma eyes..
but i have to..so,got up..
get ready..and waited fer yana..
9.30 met her..
and the frst thingy she asked me..
'kau ok tk?'..so i just nodded..
and i kept maslf shut..haax..
out of sudden,ma tears drop sey..
duno yy..duno wad i was thinkin about..
then yana panic..omg.haax..
and i was laughin ther..
yana..yana..

reached tanah merah at 11.10..
and we were quite late sey..
sho..we flagged down a cab..
and we got this malay uncle..hes quite fwenly..
asking me this and that..
and so chatted with hym..
yanaa was so silent..
and laughing at me..crazzie lah..
tak slah kan bebual ngn pakcik 2..!
hahakkz..

we reached at about 11.20..
that pakcik advice me this and that..
have a cert frst before enjoyin maself..
=)..
wen we step in.we were loike aliens!
haax..funnie..
so,we began exploring..
at that point of time..
i put aside everything..
im goin fer an interview!
haax and yepps..

ferstly..we to0k e lift..
we got in..and we pressed 3..
then..the lift didnt went up..haaks..
we lo0ked at each other..haax..!
then we pressed door open..and were laughing lyke
retard peeps!

omg..haax..we were clever enuff.
we to0k the stairs..
and we went all the way to 3rd level..
and its locked!!
once again..crazzie peeps..laughed nonstop hits!
haax..ended up..to0k the escalator and we reached the place!
haax..evry1 was lukin at us..
mcm supersta basi..urgh..
gave the letter..and yepps..
we sat ther..
this 2 gurls smilin at us..
so we smiled back..
and the waved to us..
to sit bside em..
so,i started the conversation and blah3..

i was so unprepared sey!
realii..ma mind was blank..totalli nuthing..
argh..
so..waited fer ma turn 2 b called..
and i was askin yana fer ma suwit..
wen i popped inside ma mouth..
the women went.."juliana"..
i was lyke..shitss!
damn..then i just swolled the suwit..
haaxx!tercekik skjap sey..

so i sat there staring at em..
haax..
so they asked me..
bloody lots of qns lah..
*what did i do during the holis..??
*wad i was wekin as??
*why did i join nursing??
*why did i absent frm sko0l..??reason??
*if patient vomits a me..wad m i suppose to do??
*if patient fall..wad m i suppose to do??
*werkin hours of a nurse??

and lots of other qns seys..
so,i just ans em confidently..
and this indian guy..he ticked me..
bcos of ma coloured hair..
bacos of ma makeup..
so,i assured em that wen im in skul..
i will bcome a nerdy gurl..
and the women giggled at me!
haax..she told me that was a cute anss..

oh gawd..s0,i gave a fake smile..
i feared of the next qns..haax..
and yeah..they asked me whether im ready bcme a nurse..
blah3..
it went quite well lah..
=)..
i went out..smiling!
haax..crazzie..i was confident at that point of time..
and thers minah2.they smiled.so.i smiled bck.
so nervous!
haax..it endss!!
yipees!

went to mit khaty next..
lambt sey..
met khaty's ex..boi..
i just ignored!waha..
while waiting fer her..ma mind kept thinkin of yest incident..
and again.tears rolled down again.urgh.
and yana panic again..!
haax..so cute..!
=)

i wanted to go home actuali..
they pulled me along..
so,i just go alng..
went to town..
bugis..
farest..
and we ate at sakura.!
im cravin to eat wanton..whees!

they made me smile lots..
with all their stupid and lame jokess!
haax..!=)

and saturday...
intended to sit at hme..
mum woke me up early..
stakat nak g shengsoing..
ohgawd..i was damn slipyy lah..
i to0k a quick bath..went down..
slept in the car..haha..
to0 slpy lah..mumz makin hell of noise..!
after that..went fer brekfst at clemz centrl..
then..we to toa pay0h wit ma adk2 and ma neighbr..
wit ma parents of course..
then..i ask mum to buy me lense.!
im suppose to buy her a wallet..
ended up..!haha!

then after that..got ready..mit yana..
went to jp fer a whilee..
bought his fo0d and ther off we go..
we waited so long fer the bus..
stupid ryte.so hot!
urghs..
and then..ma eyes uat hal..
ader bende masok..
and i was rubbing it..gawd..
so painful sey..
all ma celak gone..!

then.reached bukit mrah..
lyke crazzie!
as if we were searching fer gold..haax.
we reached and i heard mats voices..
and.yeps.ring hym.
pass hym his fo0d..
and this itchy yana..
sengaje nak jlan dpat si2..
urgh..
and a bunch of mats2 there..
and she lft me behind..
haax.

then..its drizzling..
arghs..
thens,went hme..
=)

and lastlyy!
i passed the interview!!
and im into nursing course!!..
yeahh!

its gonna b a new year..
camat ari raye.
and hapie new year!

smilees.
takincares peeps!
=)

Friday, December 29, 2006 @ 2:47 AM

its happening.accpt it.

this is just where i pour ma heart and soul.
i dun bother whoever is reading it or what.

i dun understand.
Helmi,i dun blame u.
not to worrie.

well,mayb.everythin is written.
fer me to b back to sgl lyfe.
i just culdnt understnd maslf.
why must i cried buckets wen i understnd
his situation?.
Julie,great.wad has bcme of u.

haish.its hard to accept it.
but i have to,no matter wad.
sorie fer misunderstandin ya.

khaty,just wana say thnks 2 ya.
i've told ya not to trouble urslf.
im soriee.
and to yana..
sorrie fer not talkin to ya.
if u gurls wana noe,everi single phrse
that came out frm ur mouth means a lot to me?
it reali hurts and i culdnt take it any longer.
dun expect me to break dwn 4eva.

im sorie that i just slam the phne dwn kays.
veri2 sorie,i noe,yana's angry wit me.
but.haish.sorie.

i didnt noe maslf that i wuld lurve hym that much.
out of a sudden.
i realli2 broke dwn.
i just culdnt cntrl maslf.
i tried to b strng once again,but..
i failed no matter wad..

mayb,thats e nature in me.
thnks fer those suwit memoriees..
i will treasure it no matter wad.
ur such a responsible guy..=)

everi single moment that i spent with u..
i treasured it.
those were the last kisses..
and those were the last huggs..
thnks fer everything..

if u need any help frm me.
i hpe i culd b there.=)

toms gonna b e dae fer me.
*Julie..pull urslf tog aites.
i realli hpe i culd overcum everything..

i must always have faith in maslf.
nuthin is gonna pull me down.

khaty n yana.can we postphne ur shoppin spree?
im realli nt in a mo0d.
i wana stay at hme..
i just want sum tyme to b alne.
and rest ma mind.

and u gurls stop lecturing me k?
i noe..its fer ma own go0d.
but please,let me do things on ma own kays..

Helmi,i thnk god fer letting me meet such a nice guy lyke eu..
Thnks fer everything..
i wunt blame ya kays..
i'am sorry..

*hey wan,thnks fer cheerin me up.
but,im still thinkin bout it..
thnks ma dear fwen fer askin me
to chill.hees.=)*

Monday, December 25, 2006 @ 11:11 AM

hmmz

hey therz..i feel much betta now..
thnks eleena..
4 advices eu gave..
tnks ma siz lupz!haax.
and i miss u!lol..

alrytes.ive tried not to take things too hard
but sumtymes,i go overboard.
im just nt used to the new lyfee..
well,i'am tryin too and its diffcult..

ive been havin migrain fer the past few days.
and ma temp is back to normal.
=)
migrain kills me!urgh.makin me vomits.
sucks.

2dae is xmas..
haax.and i'll b goin out so0n wit ma sizzies..
khaty and yana..
=)
its gonna b a stupid thingy to do yana!
nvrmd,
aunt carol invited me over..
so,mayb.will b rushing to hougang after that..
ouh gosh..

im not in a mood to go out 2dae actuali..
argh.i dun even noe yy..
urmms.mo0d swings mayb?
i guess so..
hmmz..

i just miss hym so much..
haish.wads happening?
i failed.
nvrmdz.

alrytes peeps.
gtg fer now..
takin cares..
merry xmas!

Saturday, December 23, 2006 @ 6:39 PM

='(

If u think its best fer us to go on our own separate ways..
so be it..
why..why is all this happening to me??
it isnt easy fer me to love sum1..
but now,all this is happening..

i'm so heartbroken..
very2 heartbroken..
i n0e,i'am not important to eu..
so be it..
haish.i just nid the truth frm eu..

why must i cho0se this path of life?
i wish i was never born in this werld.
just to many things i have to face in lyfe.
i'am weak..

i'am just sixteen.
and all this stuffs are happening..
all my lurve lyfe..
i'am always being hurt..

jealousy cntrl over me..
gawd,just give me the strength to live on..
im nt ready to face all this shits!

i hope,i culd cntrl maslf..
and not to take it 2 hard..
sumone whum i hearts so much..
care so much..

argh.crapz julie.
wake up!
urgh.i shall not talk abt it kays.

i just nid to b alone..
alne all by maslf..
please.

Friday, December 22, 2006 @ 9:09 PM

im not in a fuckin mood!!!
i feel so horrible..!
terrible todaee!!

fuckk!!!!!
can i just be alone??
do wadeva stuffs by ma own..
cn just ppl give me sum peace??

argh!!
i breakin down any moment now..
y is this day that horrible??
what sins i have done to ppl..

yes.each day.a smile on ma face
laughter filled the air.
does that means i dun have any probs??
oh god..give me the strength to live on..

y must everthing..
evrythin b on me..
fcuks.

haish.
totali dissapointed in euu!!!
go0dbye!

Thursday, December 21, 2006 @ 9:26 PM

in not in a mo0d 2dae.urgh.

u..i'am sorry..
fer not telling eu the truth..
i just coulnt understand maself..
i culnt hide anything frm eu..

each dae,when i'am apart frm eu.
i felt guilty..
fer hiding sumthing frm eu..
i have to tell eu evertyin..

i'am sorrie..
please forgive me?

arghh!i'am so jiwang2 2dae..
gosh!
hmmz,i spent ma day at hme 2dae..
just now went to clemz centrl,
2 bank in ma cheque..

i got ma pay.and i'am so nut lukin 4ward to spent it.
i have to pay ma bills..$103!
waaa!ma money..
haax..then have to buy sumthing fer
siz carrie and also siz joanna..
siz carrie got me the sg idol tickets..
while siz joanne gave me the chnce 2 werk..

i duno wad shuld i buy fer em..
any suggestions??
hmmz..
give ma parents money..
and also treat ma fwenz..sobs..
haax.ther goes..

alryte..mum has been nagging at me..
fer wasting ma money on tupid stuffs..
i'am just buyin a watch..and a wallet this tyme round..hmmz..
arghhs..
i'am missing hymz.
hes werkinz nw.
happie werkinz.!
=)
haax..

alrytess.gtg fer now.
takincares peeps..
nytees!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006 @ 10:52 AM

Hey..
Got ma results and ive gotten 11 points..
well,quite dissapointed with it..budden..
wad 2 d0.accept it.

when i frst received it,i cried can?
yana's gave me a hug..thnks gurl..
and she cried too..
Omg..and both of us were crying..

but wadeva izzit.i'm still grateful..
cause fer each subject..
ive gotten a grade..
if not,it would kill me.urgh!

well,i've applied fer nursing as ma frst choice..
hmmz.well,ma parents agreed with it..
second was tourism..
i hope i culd chnge it..but..damn..
nvrmd..mayb i culd get into nursing..
haix..

wen ive gotten the results..
i called ma mum..and ma voice was trembling..
and once again,i broke down..
and yana gave me a lecture next..
aiyo..ok.so i sat ther..and listen..

cngrates khaty.ct.
u gurls will proceed on..
all the best..and i'am surely gonna miss eu guys..
sorie bt i realli dun wish to appeal..
=)

kays,dun talk about it..
hmmz..wellz,yesterdae,i went out..
actualli,i just wana give the slip to mr loh..
but ended up,different storie..

haax.morning..i met hym.
so happie!i miss hym so muchie!
then went to bo0nlay..lepak2..
while waiting fer yana and khaty..
i was that clever that i didnt bring the slip along..

then yeah..just had a chat..
aww..i lurvee hym so much lyke can?
then bout 12plus..
met up wit yana and khaty..
and we went to long john to eat..
hees..

actuali.i dun have the intention to eat.
reali.but ended up,i decided to grab a bite..
also,couldnt finish the chicken.
haax.gave hym.
yana and khaty was discussing about yana's mum
riding a bike?
haax.crazzie lah..wrng info..
gurls.gurls.

after that..bumped into amirah..
she's goin to werk..
hmmz.
then back to clementi..
i went hme to get ma slip..and he accmpny me..
sowie dear to trouble eu..

then after that..went to the prison skul at commonwealth..
haax..and it was raining heavily..
luckly i brought an umbrella along..
but still..both of us got wet..
haax..
yana and khaty worst..
haax..yana was in the rain..
and khaty was lyke jumpin over the puddles?
haax..it was totalli crazzines..
pity ma bucuks!

lolx.all of us were drenched!
then..we to0k a bus to the mrt stnt..
and there..flo0dss!!!
omg!!
yuckss..its dirty water..sucks lah..
lucky enuff..ther wasnt a nid to pass ther..
i was imagining if i were to pass by ther..
omg..i would scream fer help..!

then..to0k train and off we went to wo0dlnds..
ma bucukz was so tired that he doze off in the train..
=)
then at marsiling..a guy whu was so familiar walked it..
and it was fauzan!!

actualli yana had plans miting hym..
but ended up..none..
this tyme round..
they were fated to meet..
fauzan was loike a stupid idiot..
urgh!

khaty was miting up with rizal..
urgh..we were lyke idiots searchin fer hym.
and bucukz saw hym frst..
and i was lyke..'eh..eh..2 dier ahr'..
mcm paham je..haax..bucuk lykes to say that!
and ryte..it was hym!wakaka..
he luks totali lyke taufik malek.ma pri skul fwen.
haax.

then sent dearest hme.
aw.gona miss hym again!
then,went to wldnd..met up wit khaty,yana n rizal.
rizal was lyke.urgh.
feel lyke slappin hym.
stupid sak.
ferget it lh..

then.went hme.
apply fer ma ite choices.
sent yana n khaty hme.
got back.washup.everything.
and i'am off to ma dreamland!

and where did ma dear bucukz went?
he didnt eply ma msgs!
still slping?nt sure.
lurvee euu dear!
mwah..

takin cares peeps..
have a nyce dae!

Saturday, December 16, 2006 @ 3:25 PM

i wanaa havee a nap!

hey ther..
gosh..
i'am so sleepy!..

wellz.just came hme frm geylang..
slipy sey..arghs!
cause of the stupid lense..
ma left eye is in pain..
and it makes me wana slip!
urgh.gona put eye drop so0n..
hmmz.

guess i'am goin out tomz.
but b4 that..
gonna drp by yana's hse..
check ma sony ericsson usb cable..
urghs..

and yeps.last thurs didnt mit hym.
sumthing crop up and ended up..
yana and khaty forced me to follow em.
i thought of stying at hme.
i was dwn wit fever lh..urgh.
att 11..it was 37.8..
so.i simply ignre lah.hahakz.
but the headache kills me.!
urgh.

i shouted at khaty at the middle of town!
haax.fightin over where to go..
childish!
i was already in a moody mood..
and ther she goes..
long johns..kfc..

i can't stand longer..
and i raised ma voice at her..'kau nak g maner skng.cepat ckp!'
and there she was smiling away
yana was already smiling away..
haa.each tyme i raised ma voice..
ended up.i burst out laughing..
crazzie lah..
i dun0 hw to scold ppl..
anyone teach me?
haax..crappz..

ended up.went to long johns again!
wellz,we made hell loads of noise..
argh.haax..
yana was in a mo0dy mood..
haax..khaty kept on kicking me..
crazie lah..

then ended up,we wanted to put the extra chili sauce in yana's bag..
but ended up.
both of urs burst out laughing lyke nobody's business..
lolx.yana was kinda givin us a stare.
so we chilled and kept quiet..
haax..

and then..
to0k the long way backs.
tired seyy sit so longg..urgh..
haax.then this stupid keling..
2 of em..kept on smiling and staring..
i was so feddup and i scolded em vulgar werds.
damn!
do u think i'am a poster?fcuks!

cannot tahan..drop at woodlands..
yana thought of miting fauzan.
ended up.hes just kidin.smack hym lh!
then..
window shop fer a while..
back 2 clemz..
khaty's interested with this kiut army guy.
and hes damn tall lh..
crazzie lh..haax..

then there an alien num mish called me!
damn.stupid lh.
thenz this num called yana..
damn lah..
after that,khaty called..
those mats are so fcuking rude ahr..
then ryte..we decide to prank them..
hahakks..yana with her 9166..
khaty wit 9090..
and me wit 9010..
wahaha..we kept on mish kolin em till they picked up..

we were lyke crazzie gurls lh!
hahakks.so kekek seyys..
i cant tahan!
lolx..
yana was frustrated wit her name in the bus and wad lh..
khaty was laughing and i was smiling!
kwang3!..
ended up..everything settled!
heekks..

oh wellz..i mish hym!
haax..
wait and b patient kays?
bluekks!

taking cares..
toodles!

Thursday, December 14, 2006 @ 10:44 AM

tiredz.

eyluu..
hmm.feel kinda of tired 2dae..
im having migrain lh..
hmmz..

mum have been nagging bout ma hp bills.
urgh.so noisy.
and ma last pay..not received yet..
so longg..
hmmz..just wait and be patient..

grrr..
few more days..
results are gonna b out..
im so nervous bout it..
i'm not sure whther i will b able to make it..
i just dun have the confidence..
arghh!
nvmrd..its all over..
lets c how well ive done then..

yana & khaty r goin out 2dae..
so girls..any 'banglas'..
please dun pass it 2 me hokay?
throw inside the bin..
how bout the recyclin bin?
haax..
Julie's so bad!
haax.i dun give a damn bout banglas..
lolx.pests!

out of e blue..sum1 read ma blog..
kwang3..
u ehks.tau aje.
tkperlah.bacer jeks lh eu..=)

hmmz.
niwaes,i getting out of e hse 2dae.
yeaps2..
rather then sitting at hme..
nag.nag.nag.
*dots*

aniwaes,gtg fer now..
update so0nz..
takincares peeps..

Wednesday, December 13, 2006 @ 12:01 PM

Its back to single lyfe!

hey..and update..
lolx..
alrytee..i'am currently single!

lol..yeapz2.
broke up on the 5th nov..
cause of his fcukin attitude..
so ego!
fcuk!

and have the cheecks to scold me bad werds.
fcuks.i hadnt hav enuff..
watch out u motherfuker!
damn.!

alrytes..
i just so happie wit whu i am now..
lyke d-uh!
haax..
with liyana and khatijah..
whu r ma close peeps..
i hearts em much..
they made me smile evry single dae..
with their stupid jokes..

and yeah..lately..
ive been talking so much..
i'am nt tat quiet or timid nowadaes.
gosh!julie..wad happen??
till i nearly picked a fight at cheers that tyme
fcuks.
i'am totally a diff person now..
and..i mish those tyme wher i respect ppl
and kept quiet..
but now..dun mess with me..

ouh please.wads simply wrng actuali.
that fcukin bastard?
please.i dun wana blame hym fer that.
u fucker.
urghs.lets c..whu wins the game?

hmmz.alrytes..
currently.i'am getting 2 knw a guy name Helmi!
haakz.hes such a nyce guy..
and..he can tahan ma crapz!
hes such kiuty!

maybe..gonna mit hym up tomz..
whees!
at least..im getting out frm hse..
haax..=)

alryte..gtg now..
will update so0n..
takincares peeps!